Hogyan törődik egy kapitalista multicég a helyi képviseletek nyelvhasználatával?

From: Headquarters
To: All Hungarian Speaking Staff
Subject: Improper Language Usage

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting
our office in Hungary that offensive language is commonly used by our
Hungarian speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our
policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and
staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

1. Words like basszameg, a kurva életbe, fasz and other such
expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic
effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.


2. You will not say elbaszta when someone makes a mistake, or
leszarták if you see someone being reprehended, or szar when a major
mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb szarni
and baszni are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our
environment.


3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any
circumstances will be referred to as faszfej, genya, szarházi or
geci.


4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as seggfej nor will
persons who lack initiative be referred to as beszari.


5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be
referred to as baromságok.


6. Do not say baszogassa az anyukáját if somebody is persistent; do
not add bazzzmeg, if a colleague is going through a difficult
situation. Furthermore, you must not say elbasztuk (refer to item 2)
nor erre rá fogunk baszni when a matter becomes excessively
complicated.


7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say menj a
picsába nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with, mi a
faszt akarsz?".


8. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly
industrial partners rohadt beszállítók..


9. Do not say menjenek a picsába ezzel a szarral when a relevant
project is presented to you, or should you ever answer lófasz a
seggedbe when your assistance is required.


10. You should never call partner representatives as rohadt dög or
barom állat..


11. The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms
such as dögös picsa, köcsög állat or buzi homokos.


12. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say
kitörlöm a seggem ezzel a szöveggel!


Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.
Thank you.